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to ; kyle chapman

Post  Gabrielle Amorcya on Mon Jul 20, 2009 8:45 am

Kyle,

    Hey, you.

    So, I've tried to write this letter about five times now, and every time I've started it, I've decided that it sounded too stupid or too childish and I've scrunched it up only to repeat the process with the next letter. This letter is really important, and in it I'm going to tell you something that I've been keeping from you for a while. It's nothing bad, so don't freak out. It's just... important. I don't want this letter to sound stupid. I want it to sound smart and well thought out.

    Kyle, you pretty much mean everything to me. Apart from Michelle, Dani and Adri, you're the most important part of my world. And that scares me. I don't usually let people get this close to me. Guys especially. Not since... well, I just don't let people get close to me. I don't like to feel vulnerable around people. I've spent six years putting up walls to protect myself, and in six months, you've managed to break down those walls. That's a really big deal for me.

    I know it frustrates you when I don't tell you what I'm thinking or how I'm feeling, but there's a reason for that. I don't want our relationship to be like that. I can't be like that. I'm not Michelle or Dani. They have no problems going to their respective boyfriends and talking about feelings and whatnot. But I can't do that because that's not us. We've never been the kind of people to sit around and stare into each other's eyes whilst talking about how much we love each other. I can't see us being like that. Ever.

    Which is kind of what this letter is for. I couldn't bring myself to say any of this to your face, because to be honest, I'd probably burst into tears and you'd probably laugh at me. So I'm going to tell you something that I've wanted to tell you for a while now.

    You mean everything to me. When I'm not with you, my heart hurts like hell and I want nothing more than to be with you. When I am with you, you give me butterflies. You make me feel so safe and comfortable. I guess what I'm trying to say is...

    I love you, Kyle Chapman. Forever and always.

    Love,

Gabrielle

P.S. Please don't tease my sappiness. It had to be said.

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Re: to ; kyle chapman

Post  Kyle Chapman on Wed Jul 22, 2009 7:15 pm

Gabrielle,
Hey, you back.

Being honest with you, I’ve started to write you back, just about as many times as you started to write me the first letter. I didn’t want this letter to be too tense, or too dumb, but I wanted you to know that I did take your letter seriously. I took it seriously, but I was surprised. I expected it to be you telling me about some dumb thing one of our friends did or something. I have so much to tell you and I’ll promise I won’t tease you about your sappiness if you promise not to tease me with mine.

First off, I don’t want us to be like Jared and Michelle, or like Dani and Alec. I love that we have a relationship based on having fun, and not about how much we love each other. You mean so much to me too Gabs. I mean, we’ve been friends for ages. I care more about you than I care about the guys. Just don’t tell them that okay? I’ll break it to them softly later.

I’ve tried to give you the space you’ve needed to do what you want. I wasn’t trying to push you say anything you weren’t ready for. I wasn’t trying to break down your walls or anything. I didn’t want to make us a stressful thing for you. I wanted us to stay in the relationship we have. How many couples can say they love who they're with, but they have a million fun times and dumb silly fights about nothing. That's what I like about us Gabs. But I do want to be able to tell you what I'm thinking without worrying about you pushing away.

Which is why, Gabrielle, I haven’t already told you that I love you. I’ve been wanting to for quite sometime now, but I didn’t want to put you in a position to HAVE to say it back. I wanted you to want to say it. Because you wanted to. Not because you were obligated.

You are the world to me. The time I spend with you is always amazing. I don’t ever get bored talking to you. When we both get too busy with our other friends, I hate it.

Gabrielle Amorcya, I love you too. Just like you said, Forever and Always.

Love,
Kyle

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